Feel trapped

Hi I am new to this site and hope it will help finding other with similar experience/feelings.
A few months ago I found out my husband had been basically attending nightclubs and online chat rooms, his mission was to find strangers for sex. He claims he was not successful prior to me stumbling on his lies about where he was going etc. The nightclubs were underground clubs of a very seedy nature.I more recently found out he has a porn habit, involving Cam girl sites. There's more but I won't bother to go into too much detail
Since finding out he keeps repeating he is very sorry, has stopped everything and wants to work to make our relationship better. It was not great before but these behaviours were the last thing I thought he would do
We have both had individual marriage counselling and I have now agreed to joint on the basis I am wanting to move forward but not necessarily with him.
I can't get over what he has done, or see a future for us, I feel repulsed and hugely let down by him
However. I can't face breaking up our family. Our children are all adults, 2 live away and completely independent . One is still at home following a mental health crisis and not yet able to support themselves. Splitting up will mean selling our home and the roof over our adult child's head, that is currently providing the stability they need. I am scared about setting their recovery back, but tortured about having to stay with a man I have no respect for and has hurt me so much
I appreciate there are is no easy solution to these situations but just need to vent, as no one to talk to in real life about this. Thanks

10 comments posted: Sunday, October 5th, 2025